I WENT ON A DISNEY CRUISE WITHOUT CHILDREN – THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED
Don’t get me wrong: I like Toy Story as much as the next parent. But the Hey Howdy Breakfast, with a singing guitarist striking up a chord every five minutes, and Woody, Jessie and Bullseye dancing as we tucked into waffles shaped like Mickey Mouse wasn’t my idea of fun.
“It’s a bit much at this time of the morning,” my sister Susie sighed, eyeing a pensioner dressed in his Woody outfit who knew all the words to You’ve Got a Friend in Me. Like us, he was on this Disney cruise unaccompanied by children.
Wait – a Disney cruise without children? What sane-minded adult would do that? Quite a few, it seems. Years ago, on a magical Disney voyage with my over-excited four-year-old son, we had been surprised at the number of grown-ups setting sail with Mickey but without kids. Nor were they all diehard Disney fans with Mickey tattoos (though we spotted those too).
Now Susie and I were on a week-long Caribbean voyage to see if Disney Cruise Line really could deliver for adults only. As we set sail from Florida’s Port Canaveral with costumed characters on the main deck and the funnel playing When You Wish Upon a Star, I wondered what we’d let ourselves in for.
Throughout the cruise, this central hub of the ship was more mad-ship than midship. Disney movies played full blast on the “funnel vision”, riders in inflatables hurtled round the tube water slide above the pools (one shaped like Mickey’s head), deck parties came and went, and children queued for ice creams, burgers and soda.
Yet beyond the screen at one end of the deck, an air of calm reigned around the adults-only pool. A staff member distributed cold towels to guests lying serenely in and around the pool; others wallowed in the hot tub gazing at the waves through the glass floor. It was as if the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang had done the rounds.
Our ship, the 4,000-passenger Disney Fantasy, also had other child-free zones, including a clutch of bars and lounges, a nightclub and pub, two gourmet restaurants and a dreamy spa.
It was here that we joined Stephanie from Kansas City in the on-deck hot tub. She too was travelling child-free with her sister. The reason? “It’s just the best cruise line,” she enthused. “And it has the best medical care for diabetics – my sister is badly diabetic.” While the pair of them spent most of their time in the spa, the wildly expensive treatment prices put us off.
We went instead to wine tasting in the elegant Oh La La Bar, where Alison and Russell from North Carolina told us they also preferred Disney to other cruise lines they had tried.
“It’s not a party cruise,” Alison said, ignoring the nearby table of adults dressed up for the pirate party that evening. “We’re here for the service, the food and the atmosphere.”
I saw what she meant as we settled in and sailed south. Because your waiters move around the ship’s restaurants with you, they get to know your personal preferences, building up quite a rapport as the cruise progresses.
The food is good, sometimes great. Our first meal, at the Versailles-inspired Enchanted Garden, proved so tasty with its tuna tower, lobster ravioli and caramelised scallop, that Susie was surprised to find it wasn’t one of the speciality restaurants.
The after-dinner shows were of West End standard. And the decor everywhere was pleasingly art deco rather than in-your-face Disney. Instead, there were little touches, such as Mickey’s hand indicating which floor the lift had reached, and cut-outs of Mickey’s head at the bottom of the lampshade in our cosy-for-four but spacious-for-two cabin.
After two days at sea, we arrived in the Virgin Islands, ready for an excursion on Tortola. Apart from cocktail tasting, there were no adults-only trips on our cruise, so we opted for a fun four-by-four jeep tour, driving up and down a rollercoaster of a road to ear-popping heights and a 360-degree viewpoint. The next day in St Thomas, we snorkelled with turtles on an excursion that frankly would have benefited from being adults only – some parents couldn’t control their children around the poor creatures.
Crush the turtle (a character from Finding Nemo) fared better at the Pixar Day at Sea, with his own deck party. I didn’t though – this was the day I was Disney shamed. When I asked a little girl who a dog character was meant to be, her father looked at me with disdain before saying through curled lip: “It’s Dug from Up”. Doh!
There was a whole new level of Disney fandom on show here, with families competing to wear the best fancy dress – respect to the one who portrayed the characters from Inside Out – and others racing their crawling babies in Jack Jack’s Incredible Diaper Dash (yes, really).
Meanwhile, Susie and I found ourselves embracing our inner child in a different way. We couldn’t resist making a splash on the Aqua Duck waterslide and enjoyed a detective mystery through interactive pictures around the ship. We even turned up at dinner wearing Minnie Mouse headbands. Disney characters came and went – we jumped at the chance for a picture with Chip and Dale when we realised there wasn’t a queue, and later bumped into Cinderella on the stairs (shoe still on).
Too soon, the last full day of our cruise arrived, along with my 58th birthday. And what a place to spend it. We disembarked at Disney’s private island in the Bahamas, Castaway Cay, and headed for the adults-only Serenity Bay, where I snorkelled through huge shoals of fish to spot a smattering of starfish lying on the seabed. Back on board in the evening, there was a delicious tasting menu matched by a flight of wine at the elegant Remy (after the movie Ratatouille). And yes, I got a birthday snap with Mickey Mouse.
It was all, to my great surprise, an absolute delight. Clearly don’t need kids to enjoy a Disney cruise – though you might want to steer clear of the Hey Howdy Breakfast.
Essentials
Jane Knight was a guest of the Walt Disney Travel Company International (0800 169 0742; disneycruise.disney.go.com), which has a seven-night cruise on the Disney Fantasy from £2,611pp in August, including flights. Three-night cruises from Southampton to Belgium next year cost from £917pp. Holidayextras.com has eight days’ meet and greet at Heathrow from £107.
2024-05-04T19:01:07Z dg43tfdfdgfd